Wrap-around Spider

Image: Robert Whyte

The Wrap-around Spider probably doesn't want to wrap its hairy self around your face! It was an accident and they take full responsibility for any distress which may have been caused.

Wrap-around Spiders belong to a genus called Dolophones. As far as I can tell, they mostly live in Australia.

Image: Bernard DUPONT

They're oddly flattened and spread out... splat-shaped, if you will. They even have a concave underside...

Image: ron_n_beth

The perfect shape for plastering themselves on twigs as they rest through daylight hours. They don't wrap themselves all the way around, but it certainly provides excellent camouflage against birds and the like. One Wrap-around Spider isn't content with looking like a mere part of a twig, they have a little turret on their abdomen so they look like a tiny twig all their own.

Image: Robert Whyte
Look at the little claws!

They wake up at night to build a web. Even a bit of twig needs to eat! As it turns out.

Image: Bernard DUPONT

In our green, sustainable, cybernetic future, when we access the internet through neural implants powered by propeller hats, we shall no longer wear gold rings. We'll need the gold for all the microchips, especially once the nanobot injections take off. Instead, our fingers will be clad in trained, jewel encrusted Wrap-around Spiders.

It'll be strange as our innards become increasingly technological and our adornments biological, but there's a lot to be said for standardised, stainless steel livers that can be easily produced, replaced and transplanted. Perhaps the fickleness of biology was more suited to fashion all along?