Golf Ball Sponge - A Trypophobe's Nightmare

Image: California Academy of Sciences

Holes! Holes in a thing! Some people really hate to see holes in a thing. It makes them feel uncomfortable and itchy and a little sick. For some people, holes in a thing is positively unholy. Oddly enough.

When life gets you (upside) down...

When life gets you upside down...

Video: AA&NN

It's time to turn things around. It might be slow going, so slap on a bit of Mozart to get the blood flowing. Let those hectic, Classical beats bring power to your bones.

If you happen to have bones.

.....

Thanks to Semaias for introducing me to this sweet video! Good job, Neil the snail. You're a STAR!

Wolffish and Wolf Eel

Image: Chad King (SIMoN / MBNMS)

Hey! Check out that great, big ugly fish with fearsome teeth glaring at us from deep within his dark, foreboding cave! Should we go over there and give him a hug? Why don't we see if we can't turn that angry snarl upside down!

Epimeria oxicarinata

Image: WoRMS for SMEBD

It's Sonic the Amphipod!

Water Scavenger Beetle

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... How can you expect to get anywhere in life with a face and body as repulsive as that? You look like a doom-laden carrot. How can a doom-laden carrot contribute to society? Stop looking like a doom-laden carrot!

Giant, Misshapen Penises

Image: James Gaither
Titan Arum, Amorphophallus Titanum

That's what you need when life gets you down: huge, colourful, misshapen penises. If we're lucky, they might even smell of rotting flesh and be covered in flies and beetles! Yaaay!

T'ai chi Craze Takes Octopods By Storm

It's the new exercise regime everyone in the deep is talking about: t'ai chi, a Chinese martial art dating back centuries.

"It's great", says Gladys, a ten month old mother of 47. "It's so cold and dark down here that it's easy for your arms to stiffen up. That's a big problem when you have eight of them", she chuckles. "T'ai chi keeps me nimble and lithe, and it brightens my mood every time."

Video: oceanexplorergov
Gladys demonstrates the slow, graceful dance of t'ai chi

No-one knows for sure how t'ai chi found its way into the abyss but many believe it was introduced by Brian, the Giant Pacific Octopus who found fame in the 70's when he escaped Germany's Aquarium Berlin. His journey to the Atlantic Ocean is the stuff of legend, with his famous bucket of sea water resting on his trusty skateboard.

However it got here, t'ai chi seems set to stay. "I'll be doing this till the day I die", Gladys' chitinous beak beams a mischievous smile, "at least a month or two!"

Tentacled Snake

Image: Josh More
Erpeton tentaculatum

A snake... TENTACLED?! Does it scurry across the floor like a scaly centipede on dozens of tentacle-legs? Does it grab hold of prey and squeeze the life out of it with dozens of tentacle-arms? Does it repeatedly inject venom by the gallon with dozens of hypodermic tentacle-fangs?

Flashlight Fish

Image: Randall, J.E.

The fish that turns the world upside down! Why put a whole load of eye shadow above your eyes when you can put a big splodge of eye light underneath them?

Yellow Umbrella Slug

Image: Pablo Bou
Tylodina perversa

Someone needs to tell this chap it's too late for an umbrella once you live underwater.

Candy Crab

Image: David Rolla
Hoplophrys oatesi

Pear drops, lollipops and all a sweet tooth likes
Crunch 'em, munch 'em, chew 'em up
But be careful of the spikes!

Darwin's Bark Spider

Image: Matjaz Kuntner

The little monster with the world's most monstrously massive web!

Lichen Katydid

Image: Andreas Kay
Markia hystrix

Spikes 'n' stripes!