This is the problem with Christmas...

Image: Phillip Harpootlian

It's all that fatty food.

It goes straight to my eyes.

Merry Christmas!

Having been forced to eat his reindeer during a camping trip gone horribly wrong, Santa was relieved to discover that the late Rudolph's red nose could pull the sleigh all by itself.

Wishing you all a fantastic season with lots of wonderful things right under your nose!

Video: Mastamind Productions

Watering Pot Shell

Image: Ria Tan
Verpa penis

It's Verpa penis! Just sort of... lying there.

Knob-tailed Gecko

Image: Michael Sale

Awwww! I don't know if Knob-tailed Geckos are wonky and cute or just wonky!

Mushroom Coral

Image: Nick Hobgood

Hmm... Now what do we really want? A mushroom that has tentacles and a mouth? That would be nice to add a bit of cephalopod flair to our woodland walks. Or a coral that looks a bit like a mushroom?

Trachelomegalus modestior

Image: Bernard DUPONT
Trachelomegalus modestior

It's a glorious, red millipede!

Bullock's Mountain False Toad

Image: Edgardo Flores
Telmatobufo bullocki

Holy moley, that's one warty not-toad!

Mydas Fly

Image: Biologoandre

Mydas Flies are flies. Great, big, ENORMOUS flies!

Bonnet Mould

Image: Mike Kempenich
Spinellus fusiger

It sounds like some terrible blight that might have struck Victorian Europe, destroying ladies headgear and leading to a devastating rise in the price of fashionable hats.

Orbicular Batfish

Image: dachalan
Platax orbicularis

The Orbicular Batfish. A dead leaf mimic so expert, so elite, so dead leafy, that they... thought it was a bat? Hmmmm... Something fishy's going on here. Batfishy.

Two-tailed Spider

Image: Chun Xing Wong

It's a spider with two tails!

Because the world was in need of just that little bit more spider.

Mr. Pinch

Image: OCEANA

I miss Mr. Tickle.

:(

Spionid

Image: Moorea Biocode

It's a worm! With a face made of worms!

Spider Wasp

Image: Eframgoldberg

If you're an arachnophobe, you might like to think of this as "the enemy of my enemy is my friend". Unless you also hate wasps. If you suffer from spheksophobia be aware that many Spider Wasps are scarier than your average wasp and the enemy of your enemy is a super-powerful enemy.

Bluebell Sea Squirt

Image: Arjan Gittenberger
Perophora namei

Squirts on a stick!

South American Leaffish

Image: Chris Geatch

It's a carnivorous leaf! The vegetables have finally had enough and are seeking revenge against us all! Especially vegetarians. Those juice-thirsty vegetarians.

Flying Dragon

Image: Psumuseum

*GASP* It's a dragon! A mighty, fire-breathing dragon of yore with teeth like daggers and eyes like embers. Look at his fearsome claws, his lashing tail, his majestically curved neck. He's spreading his majestic wings like a scaly but also majestic banner of unearthly power. Watch him take to the air with majestic flaps of the aforementioned majestic wings. I've never seen a majestic flap before but it's oh so very majestic.

Wingfoots

It's those magnificent Wingfoots again! Or "Pteropods" if you insist on being all fancy and, you know, accurate.

Just a Little Chocolate Snail

Image: John Slapcinsky
Naninia banggaiensis

Oh, lovely-lovely, sweetie-sweetie chocolate...

Magnum Sea Cucumber

Image: Nick Hobgood
Neothyonidium magnum

Could it be? Could it really be? A Sea Cucumber that isn't crushingly unattractive and may even be sort of... pretty?

Spanner Crab

Uh oh... Looks like someone just threw a Spanner in the works!

Stygiomedusa gigantea

What is a jellyfish to do when it has NO TENTACLES?

Pentagrammatical Décor of the Hallowe'en Horrors

It's Halloween! That time of year when we kick the bucket with death, kick our heels with darkness, and kick angelic beings in the shins with evil! Woo!

Siren

Image: Zruda

Sirens? Bah! Don't talk to me about Sirens. They sit on the rocks looking prettier than a dolphin. Sing better, too. And they're deadlier than... a dolphin. Essentially they're like sexy-but-evil dolphins. They sing to the sailors, and their song is death. It wreaks havoc on the tourism industry.

Err... not that kind of Siren.

Palmate Sea Fan

Image: Peter Southwood
Leptogorgia palma

It's so difficult being gorgeous. Especially when you can't move at all.

Carpet Flatworm

Image: Seascapeza
Thysanozoon brocchii

Oooooo, look at that shaggy carpet! Can't you feel the soft papillae tickle your feet and squelch between your toes?

Black Scorpionfish

Image: zslamaj
Scorpaena porcus

It's the original Scorpionfish!

Look how amazingly scorpion and fish she is.

Blind Octopus

Cirrothauma murrayi

Octopuses are famous for having eyes remarkably similar to those of humans but without the blind spot.

The Blind Octopus is different in that it has nothing BUT a blind spot!

Leaf-rolling Cricket

Image: Bernard DUPONT

Silk and anger!

Gasflame Nudibranch

Image: Graeme Kruger
Bonisa nakaza

They have water-resistant gas fires, now? This opens up a whole new world of camping experiences for the more adventurous traveller!

Firebrick Starfish

Image: Richard Ling
Asterodiscides truncatus

Who knew bricks could look so pretty!

Tickle of the Crab's Claw

Getting tickled in the belly is bad enough as it is. The INDIGNITY!

Crested Chameleon

Image: Bernard DUPONT

As if chameleons weren't weird enough already, they go all Spinosaurus on us.

Elephant Ear Sponge

Image: Richard Ling
Ianthella basta

If it's bad to make a pig's ear of a thing, how much worse an elephant's?

Arms, Arms, Everywhere

Nor any hand to shake.

Stonefish

Image: revjlw

What do you get when you combine a fish and a stone?

Tentacle Heaven

Image: Nick Hobgood

Now THIS is a Decorator Crab who knows what decoration is all about! Forget your wallpaper and papier mache dragon heads. Forget even about the lumps of sponge so many other Decorator Crabs swathe their bodies in. Nope. It's all about the tentacles. It's ALL about the tentacles!

By covering itself head to claw in hydroid polyps this crab not only looks good, it also gains protection since all those tentacles happen to be bristling with stinging cells. And it's pretty good for the polyps, too, as they get ferried around to all the best feeding areas their faithful mount can find.

It's a match made in heaven. Tentacle Heaven. And it's ALL about Tentacle Heaven.

Antenna Ray

It's the one thing every creature with a long, thin tail wants...

A longer, thinner tail!

Egyptian Sea Star

Image: Alexander Vasenin
Gomophia egyptiaca

It's what I've always wanted!

A demonic starfish.

Inner Monster Unleashed

It's a glorious deep sea siphonophore!

File Shell

Image: Ria Tan

Tentacles. They are the crowning glory of Mollusca. Cephalopods like octopuses and squid are clearly the anointed kings and queens of this tentacle-blessed race. Just look into their large, intelligent eyes and you know they're asking one thing: where are your tentacles, peasant?

Sea Sweep

Image: Saspotato
Scorpis aequipinnis

If a chimney sweep is someone who cleans chimneys...

Gelatinous Spaceship

I just can't resist these Atolla jellyfish!

Bongo Shrimp

Image: Rickard Zerpe
Phyllognathia ceratophthalma

It's the Bongo Shrimp! So named because it's a shrimp that... bongo.

Gliding Spider

Image: Stephen Yanoviak

INCOMING! After falling out of a tree, this skydiving spider can swerve through the forest to make absolutely sure it lands squarely on your head! Or another tree. Whatever seems best at the time, I guess.

The Daisy Chain... of DEATH

Video: Stephane De Greef

Hailing from Cambodia, this undescribed species of ant is a disturbingly effective predator of millipedes. Watch as they encircle their trembling prey, waiting for the poor soul to uncurl itself from its defensive coil. Gaze in astonishment as a single sting from a single ant signals the commencement of a whole bunch of stings from a whole bunch of ants.

Gasp in horror as the merry murderers haul the enormous body home. They do so in a remarkable daisy chain, workers pulling on workers in a deadly caravan of communal carnage. Can't you hear them sing?

Hi ho. Hi ho. It's home from work we go.

It's scenes like this which make you realise that ants don't have to be that much bigger than they are to pose a serious threat to humanity. Shrink rays at the ready...

Cuyaba Dwarf Frog

Image: Felipe Gomes
Eupemphix nattereri

It's a frog with eyes in the back of his... end.

Chubby Spiders

Image: Robert Whyte

You know, you look around at some of the spiders out there...

Cockatoo Waspfish

Image: Daniel Kwok
Ablabys taenianotus

No, it's not the Flamingo Dogfrog or the Hummingbird Antelopewhale, those are obviously completely made up.

Button Top

Image: Ria Tan
Umbonium vestiarium

It's the Cute-as-a-button Snail!

Cigar Jelly

Olindias phosphorica

After a long day plotting the global downfall of the terrestrial world, there's nothing better than stuffing your face with tentaclefuls of seafood and curling up under a warm duvet.